How to Make Your Divorce Proceedings as Smooth as Possible
Because it’s considered to be the second most stressful experience (after death), divorce is not a step that should be lightly taken. Despite this, it is possible to minimise the fallout, which, of course, must be a priority where children are involved. The following tips have been compiled to help anyone who is considering a divorce to resolve their situation as smoothly as possible, whatever their circumstances.
Limit the Stress
If you follow these tips your diplomacy, tact and reasonableness will be tested to the limit. In the long run, though, you’ll save far more in terms of money, emotion, stress and future bad feeling.
1. Keep communicating – This is not easy when emotions run high. However, it’s better – and cheaper – to agree as much as possible about what happens to the children and the assets before involving solicitors.
2. Try mediation – the help of a trained mediator can break even the most intractable deadlock and is more constructive and cost-efficient than legal action.
3. Don’t dish the dirt – raking up everything your spouse has done wrong will lead to more bad feeling so it’s best avoided.
4. Put your children first – your children are the product of both their parents and have divided loyalties. As their parent, your duty is to minimise their pain and upheaval.
5. Keep it to the two of you – whatever the reason for your marriage breakdown, resist the temptation to name a third party. They will be served with the divorce petition and reply to the court, which can cause delay and extra cost.
6. Don’t defend a divorce – even if you don’t agree about a divorce or dislike what is in the divorce petition, it can be pointless (and expensive) to defend it.
7. Be reasonable about money – you both have financial needs. Your children need a roof over their heads and this should be your priority. It will certainly be the court’s. Avoid arguing over the contents of your house and other assets – these should be divided equally, as far as possible, or according to need.
8. Be honest about your assets – as a divorcing couple you both need to know how much money is available so it can be divided appropriately. Being shifty benefits no one, especially your children and will cause lasting bad feeling.
9. Choose a solicitor who is a member of Resolution – this saves you both money and upset as Resolution solicitors deal with matters in a non-confrontational way.
10. Be organised – if you do go down the legal route, be brief, business-like and organised when compiling information for your solicitor. This will save you both time and money.
Need Further Advice?
If you need to find a solicitor you can ask family and friends for a referral or check your local paper or the phone book. Firms such as 1 Kings Bench Walk .specialise in family law and are highly trained in how to deal sensitively with people in stressful and upsetting situations.
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